


My love will never die

by HopeSilverheart



Series: Loving Em at 2AM [25]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, But they're both idiots so, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, Idiots in Love, Immortal Alec Lightwood, Immortality, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Miscommunication, Vampire Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24744229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeSilverheart/pseuds/HopeSilverheart
Summary: He knew the answer to his own question even before Montclair opened her mouth to confirm his suspicions. It didn’t make it any easier for him to hear the name spoken out loud after so long of only remembering it in his own mind. Even Simon had stopped talking about him after a while and many glasses thrown his way.“Magnus Bane.”He clenched his jaw and looked away from the pair in front of him, not wanting them to see the insecurity and heartbreak in his eyes. He could do this. All he had to do was convince Magnus to leave the city and go back to where he came from. It would take him an hour maximum, if all went well.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Loving Em at 2AM [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764400
Comments: 16
Kudos: 176





	My love will never die

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatnerdemryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/gifts).



Alec couldn’t remember how long he had been in Paris for. It could have been a year just as it could have been twenty. He still remembered when he used to count his time in days and months, when mortality made him rush through things and act rashly and forget about the long-term.

Long-term was all he had, now. Decades and decades of loneliness, sorrow, and heartbreak. Years spent skipping from city to city, hoping no one would realise he never aged. He wasn’t as bad now as he had been in the beginning, but he wasn’t well either. He had lost his first family, mourned and grieved them and let them fade to the back of his mind in the hopes of lessening his pain.

Then he had started over.

He would never have his siblings again, but he had other people to look after. He kept an eye on his nieces and nephews, then grand-nieces and grand-nephews, wanting to make sure his family’s memory lived on long after he left them behind. But New York City hadn’t been home in a very long time. It had stopped being a home the moment Magnus had ripped his heart out by telling him he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with Alec.

Now there he was, an immortal Daylighter in charge of the Paris Clan, father to four and leader to many. He had more people by his side than he ever had before, yet he still felt empty. He tried his best to be happy, to give back half of the peace his new family offered him on a daily basis, but it was harder than he could have ever anticipated.

He wasn’t unhappy, per say. He certainly wasn’t depressed; he had a goal and a steady job and friends who cared about him. He just… He wasn’t sure it had been worth it, in the end. Magnus hadn’t contacted him again after that horrible argument, and Alec had stopped trying after a few months.

He had no idea where his ex-lover was, had no idea if he was alright and thriving or if he was just as lost as Alec.

“The shadowhunters want to see you, boss.”

Alec sighed and turned his office chair around, smiling at his second-in-command and best friend. If there was one person who would always have his back, it was this vampire.

“Thank you for warning me, Simon,” he said tiredly. The local shadowhunters had been getting on his nerves lately, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could handle before he snapped. “How many came this time? And what motive are they putting forth? Another murder the mundanes can’t solve, perhaps?”

“There are only two, Alec,” Simon answered. Alec’s eyebrows flew up; two was barely the size of a standard patrol team, especially in Paris. “I know, strange. And they didn’t mention anything more than wanting to see you. I recognise them, so I know they’re not frauds, but I have no idea what they want. A favour, maybe?”

“Oh please,” Alec scoffed. “They should know I don’t do favours. If they want something from me, all they have to do is be honest.”

Simon snorted but didn’t say anything else, shaking his head as he left the office. Alec smiled at his friend’s retreating back before standing up and following him closely. His vampires tended to get twitchy when the Nephilim stayed around too long, and he didn’t want another one of the warriors complaining about hostile treatment.

The two vampires sped into the lobby, grinning at each other when they touched the parlour door at the same time. Their daily races were one of the only fun things they allowed themselves – or at lease one of the only fun things _Alec_ allowed himself. Everything else was a rush of work and fledgling issues and taking care of his children.

The reminder that he didn’t have much to lose in this world was enough to sober him up as he walked into the parlour, plastering a polite smile on his face. If there was one thing he knew about shadowhunters, it was that they liked being treated civilly or as superiors. Alec had never managed the second, so he stuck to the first option.

“Oh, of course it’s you two,” he rolled his eyes as he spotted the two young shadowhunters waiting for him. “Miss Montclair, Miss Pontmercy. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The two girls smiled at him sheepishly, and he could already feel himself cave. Out of all the Paris shadowhunters, these were the two he actually liked. They rarely stopped by the hotel, too busy with their missions and afraid of being dragged into some unseemly vampire affair, but Alec had crossed paths with them many times over the last few years.

They were Downworld-friendly, intuitive, and more importantly, they reminded him of some of the people he had lost. He wouldn’t be surprised to find out they were engaged, honestly, given how similar they were to Helen and Aline.

The point was, he liked them, and so they knew he would help them. No matter how annoying their demand might be.

“We need your help finding someone, Mister Lumiere,” Montclair blurted out, dodging Pontmercy’s elbow as the other girl aimed for her ribs. “There’s rumours of a new warlock being in town, and we want to check him out. Really, we just want to make sure he’s not after Louis’ job. Being High Warlock of Paris means the world to him, and we’re not about to let some hotshot American take his place.”

“Hotshot American?” Alec snorted. “I suppose I can look for this mysterious warlock. Do you want me to scare them away too, or do you want to do that yourselves? Or do you just need to know what they’re up to? Because I can easily send some of my people to spy on them and tell me whether or not he’s after the High Warlock position. I like Louis too, so that would be no hardship.”

“Well…” Pontmercy murmured, glancing at her partner for support. When the fairer-haired shadowhunter just shrugged, Pontmercy sighed heavily. “We’d rather have you take care of this, but we know… We’ve heard you don’t have the best past with American warlocks, and this one in particular. I mean, one of your vampires mentioned something about painful history, so…”

“Painful history?” Alec whispered, his heart fluttering nervously. “Girls, who _exactly_ is this warlock you’re talking about?”

He knew the answer to his own question even before Montclair opened her mouth to confirm his suspicions. It didn’t make it any easier for him to hear the name spoken out loud after so long of only remembering it in his own mind. Even Simon had stopped talking about _him_ after a while and many glasses thrown his way.

“Magnus Bane.”

He clenched his jaw and looked away from the pair in front of him, not wanting them to see the insecurity and heartbreak in his eyes. He could do this. All he had to do was convince Magnus to leave the city and go back to where he came from. It would take him an hour maximum, if all went well.

“I’ll do it.”

All he had to do was forget about golden cat-eyes, golden skin, and bright smiles that soothed his soul. Maybe this meeting would give him the closure he needed and deserved. One could only hope, right?

And in the meantime, he had children to take care of.

* * *

In the end, meeting with Magnus turned out to be the easiest part of their plan. When the man heard that the head of the local vampire clan wanted to see him, he had accepted their offer to stop by the hotel almost immediately.

Unfortunately, that meant Alec had no idea when the warlock would visit them until he decided to show up. He was on edge for two days before Magnus finally graced them with his presence. And of course, that moment happened on the only day when Alec couldn’t get a hold of his usual babysitter. His children were still too young to be left alone, no matter how ‘old’ Jean claimed to be.

He hadn’t wanted Magnus anywhere near his children, but Alec knew he didn’t have a choice. Simon was out on a mission, and his other vampires were too busy sleeping to look after four kids. Magnus probably wouldn’t come a second time, which meant Alec would have to drag his children along and hope they behaved.

He held his youngest in his arms and took the second-youngest by the hand as his two older children trailed behind him like ducklings. Jean and Emilie were too curious for their own good, even at 12 and 9-years-old respectively. Hopefully, they had understood how serious this meeting was.

He paused in front of the parlour for an instant, breathing in deeply, before pushing the door open and walking in confidently, not faltering even when Magnus’ gaze settled on him. The warlock’s eyes widened comically, flicking between Alec and his children rapidly before he spoke up, voice trembling.

“Alexander?”

That single name was almost enough to make Alec break down on the spot. The only reason he managed to remain standing was his children’s presence. They didn’t deserve to see their father in such a low place.

“Magnus,” Alec greeted the warlock impassively, refusing to let his mask down. “Surprising to see you here.”

“To see _me_?” Magnus exclaimed, quieting down when Emilie flinched away from him. Alec took a second to glare at the warlock before he turned around to lay a reassuring hand on his daughter’s head.

“You’re okay,” he said softly, crouching down and balancing Madalina in his arms to make sure she was comfortable. “Magnus isn’t here to hurt us, alright? I just need to talk to him for a little while. How about you take Jean with you and stay in the corner over there? That way, he _definitely_ won’t be able to hurt you.”

“But he has magic,” Emilie muttered, her bottom lip wobbling fearfully.

“And so does Jean,” Alec reminded his daughter, gently pushing her and his eldest son towards the back of the room, as far away from Magnus as possible. “You’ll be fine.”

As soon as they were gone, Alec turned back towards Magnus, his mask firmly in place. His children were the only people who deserved to see his softer self; Magnus had lost that right decades earlier – a century even, if he remembered correctly.

“Alexander, how are you alive?” Magnus hissed. “Or is this some trick the shadowhunters are playing on me? You went missing and then probably _died_. This can’t be you, you can’t be-”

“Alexandre Lumiere, Leader of the Paris Clan?” Alec suggested, gesturing at himself. “Because I assure you, I am. You didn’t want a forever with me, so I found something else to pass the time. Paris isn’t New York, but it’s better than anything else I tried. Besides, I have Simon and my children with me. Believe me, this is not trick. This is me, ex-shadowhunter and Daylighter, asking you to leave my city alone.”

“I don’t understand,” Magnus breathed out, eyes darting back to the child in Alec’s arms. “You’re- I don’t understand any of this, Alexander. I mourned you for years, for decades, I still- I thought you were dead! And all along, you were just running away from me? You couldn’t handle me not wanting to become mortal for you so you ran and got yourself turned into a vampire?”

“ _No_ ,” Alec snapped, pulling Ash closer to him when the boy made a small, distressed sound. When he spoke again, his voice was calmer and quieter. “No, I ran away because I asked the man I loved if he wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and he said _no_. I all but proposed to you, and you threw a glass at me, Magnus. What was I supposed to do? I had already asked Simon to turn me and made plans with Raphael to integrate the New York Clan. Your refusal threw that out of the window, so I moved away. I travelled a little, just like any other immortal, and then I landed here.”

“And you found yourself the picture perfect family you’ve always dreamed of having,” Magnus scoffed. “Good to know I’m that easily replaceable. Even if any of your speech made sense to me, why should I believe you? Being immortal is hardly a hardship. Perhaps you were just waiting for me to find you so you could rub your new life and love in my face.”

“The only loves in my life are my children,” Alec huffed. “And even if I were seeing someone, I don’t see how it’s any of your business. You asked me to leave you alone, and I did. Don’t blame our break-up on anyone but yourself, Magnus.”

“I asked you to give me space!” The warlock yelled, tears welling up in his eyes. Even all these years later, Alec hated seeing Magnus cry. His heart was screaming at him to make things better, to kiss the waterworks away. Unfortunately, it wasn’t his place anymore. “I didn’t ask you to leave me, Alec, and I certainly didn’t break up with you. So if anyone is to blame here, it’s _you_. How did you expect me to react to my boyfriend wanting me to become mortal for him? After all the arguments we had about this, you just-”

“I just what?” Alec laughed mirthlessly. “Asked you to live with me forever? Oh yes, how terrible. I never wanted you to become mortal, Magnus. I have no idea who fed you those lies, but the only thing I wanted was an eternity with the man I loved. Instead, I got thrown out of my home and had to start over. I lost my family because I loved you enough to sacrifice my mortality for you, and you threw that back in my face.”

When Magnus’ mouth dropped open, realisation hit Alec full force. Magnus had no idea what he was talking about, just like Alec had no idea what Magnus was trying to tell him. Hindsight was a bitch, really.

Miscommunication even more so.

“No,” he shook his head in denial, pressing his lips together and holding back a broken sob. In his arms, Madalina shuffled until her head rested against his heart. “No, Magnus, no… We can’t have done this for not- I can’t- Please tell me I didn’t lose you over a misunderstanding. Please tell me- _Magnus_.”

“You were already immortal, weren’t you? When you talked about spending our entire lives together,” Magnus whispered, eyes full of sorrow and regret and a hint of hope. Alec wondered if he looked as wrecked as the warlock or if his misery surpassed even _that_. “You were going to tell me you had become immortal, and I- I turned you away. So you left, making me believe you had died, when you were right here all along.”

Alec didn’t know what to say. His heart was being simultaneously broken all over again and pieced back together. His hands shook and he could feel tears stream down his face. Three pairs of hands held him, his older children having regrouped around him to wrap him in a tiny group hug. He sent them a trembling, thankful smile, but his eyes were still fixed on Magnus.

Magnus Bane, the man he had always loved, even when he hated him. Magnus, who had apparently mourned him and loved him all along. Magnus, who had misinterpreted his words just as Alec had misinterpreted his answer. Magnus, whom he hadn’t seen in a century but had never ceased to love.

Magnus, the love of his very long life. The man he had dreamed of marrying, the man he had pictured when he had thought of a second father for his children. The man who, apparently, might still want him.

The question was, did they even have a chance anymore? Could they really go back to the way things were, to being together, after decades spent apart? Alec wasn’t the same person anymore and, misunderstanding or not, Magnus had hurt him deeply. He assumed his ex-lover would harbour similar resentment once they weren’t so caught up in the moment. After all, Alec had fled and left him behind instead of talking things through with him.

They had both made a lot of mistakes, each one more hurtful than the last. Even if they still loved each other, there was no telling how horrible a second relationship between them might turn out.

Alec had lived decades without Magnus. He had a new family now, a new home. He didn’t need his one true love back, no matter how much his heart yearned for him. He had and could still live without him. He _could_.

“I-” Alec started, cutting himself off when Magnus took a few steps towards him, eyes shining determinedly. Alec gulped, knowing what was coming and knowing he should stop it whilst he still could. But oh – _oh_ – he didn’t want to. “Magnus… So many things have changed. We’re not the people we used to be. I’m a vampire, for heaven’s sake, and we haven’t- there’s so much to talk about. We should-”

Magnus’ lips covered his before Alec could finish his sentence. The warlock made sure not to harm Madalina as he kissed Alec, and the vampire melted into his embrace, all his thoughts fleeing his brain. Magnus had always had that effect on him, and it seemed even a century couldn’t change that.

They had so much to figure out, so much to fix and talk about. But Alec had become immortal for Magnus, and he would be damned if he didn’t give the man a second chance. If he didn’t give _them_ a second chance.

Trying had never hurt anyone. Besides, Alec had a feeling this would be worth it.

He had a feeling Magnus would always be worth the risk.

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! Thank you so much for reading! Still haven't asked anyone to beta these fics, so excuse any mistakes. This was inspired by a conversation we had on the Malec discord server and I was in the mood to write angst, so here we are! I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> Love, Junie.
> 
> (find me on tumblr @hopesilverheart)


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